NaNoWriMo. Here we go!Posted: November 1, 2014
In preparation for the assured failure of my New Year’s resolutions, I am performing a death-defying NaNoWriMo this year. As I did last year. I like to pregame my holiday distraction rituals. This time, I’ve given myself a bit more of a margin for success by doing up a novel that I’ve already started to write.
Its working title is “God is a Rubber Ducky.” I sincerely hope that I’ll think of a better one before the whole thing is through. It’s about how God accidentally incarnates as a rubber duck because he’s too out of touch to realize that it’s not the real thing. As a result, he gets a front-row seat to the reactions of Earth inhabitants to his Heavenly policies. Yes, I might be on a God kick at the moment. What can I say? He’s a bastard but he’s a damn funny bastard. Like Archie Bunker. In addition, I’m a lifelong recovering Catholic who is kind of thrilled that a giant perfect man isn’t hanging out in the sky, itemizing my mistakes. THAT is why God gets to be a rubber ducky in my story.
So far, I have a pretty bitchin’ beginning and a pretty awesome end, but getting from one to the other has been a bit of a trick. God’s immobile, you know, since rubber ducks are incapable of movement. The angels look for him but they either can’t find him or they “can’t find him”, if you know what I mean. He’s got to live through half a century of U.S. history without turning into a divine version of Forrest Gump. It’s going to have to get pretty weird.